Is a destination wedding right for you?

There are many reasons to consider a destination wedding...some of the most common are the following.

* Logistics. With extended families so spread out, most every wedding involves some travel for the guests. Sometimes a "meet in the middle" destination wedding actually simplifies the process of bringing together two groups of family and friends.
* Wanting a personally significant location. Sometimes couples choose to share the place that they met, or a place of cultural/heritage significance, or a place that they particularly love, with their loved ones.
* The romance of travel. This is a large category with differnt kinds of people and different expectations. I planned a wedding on top of Mount Kilimanjaro for one particularly adventurous (and fit!) couple.
* A desire to save money. Destination weddings can be expensive, but with careful planning, a realistic budget, and a modest guest list, they don't have to be.
* A desire for a non-traditional wedding. Destination weddings often appeal to couples who are not drawn to the traditional wedding model. These couples fit very nicely with what has been called, "the generational quest for individuality." They want their weddings to be memorable, and most of all to reflect their own personalities and uniqueness.
* A need to escape. I've planned a few estination weddings for couples who began on a more traditional path. One bride called when she realized her budget was approaching six figures, 100 hundred invitations were addressed to people she did not even know, and everyone from her dentist to her next-door neighbor were offering her advice. This is how her call began: "Help!"

You can probably relate to one or more of these motivations if you are considering a destination wedding. But how do you know if a wedding far from home is really right for you? I'm sure that you'll agree that one couple's fantasy ideal can be another couple's nightmare. In fact, depending on your situation, personality, temperment, and style, most anything can be seen in positive or negative terms.

A destination wedding promises a memorable experience. As long as you don't mind facing the unexpected. If unforgettable is just what you're looking for, or...you'd rather control every aspect of the experience rather than risk the "wrong kind" of memorable then a destination is not right for you.

A destination wedding is often a longer celebration, lasting a few days. It typically will begin with a welcome dinner t welcome all of your guests and set the tone for the weekend; in some cases this will double as the Rehearsal dinner or party depending on the day the festivities begin. The next day will usually be the ceremony and maybe the bridal party luncheon. Finally, you will close the weekend with a farewell lunch or brunch...depending on how late the party is to go on the night before! When will this group be together again? You love the notion of spending some time together! Or you may feel that one day is plenty for the "group portion" of the festivities.

A destination wedding typically involves fewer guests. You are either OK with the notion of having only your closest family and friends. This is certain to give you wedding a very intimate feel...which you as a bride will either love or hate.

Because of the element of travel, a destination wedding typically is more challenging to plan. I would always suggest hiring a wedding planner to help with such a large process. You see the difficulties of planning as a fair price to pay for a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. Most of your guests will use this as an opportunity to make a vacation out of the trip so this is important when choosing the location for the destination.

This list is offered as a springboard to conversation as a couple. First and foremost, you need to consider your own priorities. I always suggest that after you ask each other some of the questions above, you should also ask the really important people in your lives - the "must haves" on your prospective guest list - whether they would be agreeable to the idea of a destination wedding. If any of these make it or break it guests would be unable to accommodate the travel then you may want to reconsider your wedding plans.

It is true that destination weddings are more complicated to plan than weddings at home, but there are resources - wedding planners, the Internet, books and magazines - that can help you. However, there is something magical about them. What is at the heart of a destination wedding is an absolutely unique opportunity for the guests to get to know each other. It is a combination of the travel, the uniqueness of the locale and the bonding of such a select guest list that make this type of wedding so special and memorable.

I hope that I have given you some food for thought in choosing whether of not to have a destination wedding. And if your do choose one, I hope that it will prove to be a life long memory and exceed all your dreams and expectations.